Day One: Introduction

Well.  Here I am.

Attempting this "blogging thing" yet again.
I'm not very good at blogging.  I've proven that to myself several times.  I am making a commitment to myself, however.

 I have a terrible memory, in case you didn't know.  A terrible memory, emotions that control my whole being and panic attacks.  That's me.

Everyday, I will write one post.  The length of the post will fluctuate; there are no rules.  My posts will regard one observance of the day, be it negative or positive.  For those who are about to enter, please do not be offended.  This is my mind poured into a computer.  I'm naked in front of a crowd.  My thoughts are racing.   "How do I proceed with this and not exploit myself?"  "How do I stay genuine to what I want to say without fear of embarrassment?"  "How do I explain that I am doing this primarily for me?"  "Will I even make sense?  Probably not..."

Here goes:

My observance for the day is that I am having trouble with communication.  I crave interaction.  As much of an anti-social pessimist as I am, I cannot go a day without having a riveting, opinion-saturated conversation.  I find flaw in this as much as I find beauty.  I pride myself in wanting to open those doors and help others find the handle.  

But, at this current second, I am so wound tight.  Reaching for any and all communication I can gather.  Because, there's something missing.  My wheels aren't turning, my imagination is not present.  I am so utterly frustrated by this.  I'm binding myself permanently to a dead end.  I need mental stimulation before I explode.  Before I lace my  words with venom one more time.  Because it feels like I'm being shoved into a box, a mold.  And, well, we just can't have that....