Day forty-three: Foggy

My health took a step backwards.  I began experiencing pain again, just as I did a year ago.  I've since come to the realization that what I felt most was likely panic, which made my pain worse.  Thus, my appointment tomorrow in which I was scheduled to begin discontinuing my medications is taking another direction.
I'm okay with taking this medication longer because it makes me feel better, I know that it has literally saved my vision and ceased much of my pain.
There is a large downside, however.
It makes me very foggy.
Like, forget what we were talking about in the middle of our conversation foggy.
It took me about 8 months to realize this issue was happening...
I had to increase my dosage over the weekend and I don't think I've had a clear thought yet.  Literally, every thought process has a cloud around it.  I cannot, for the life of me, reach a point of clarity.
It's affecting every aspect of my life.  Negatively.  It makes me very sad.  It makes me feel very lonely and worried.
The last seven days have been trying.
Truly, I could just use a hug or a pat on the back.  An acknowledgment of my effort despite what my productivity has been.
Or an eight week vacation far away from here.