God, my heart hurts.
It hurts with happiness, it hurts with sadness. It hurts because it's overwhelmed and also because it's so underwhelmed. It hurts with reality but more so with possibility.
There's something pushing against my chest, making it hard to breathe.
There's a hole in my stomach, eating it away.
I'm not writing this post as a sob story, a cry for help or even for someone to read. I'm writing it because I need to expel just how I feel into the universe.
Inevitably, I'm always waiting for the next thing. But I fear for the day there will be no more "next thing" and I actually have to sit in my feelings and absorb them. It will be sink or swim.
I'm okay. Really, I am. I am just spent. I'm exhausted.
I need sleep. And more hugs. And calorie-free wine.
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